Blogger Gone Live: A Farewell Message

I've been doing a lot of research (both in the books/online and inside my own self) around the concept of simplifying my life, and the more I learn, the less I need.

Have you ever felt boxed in or cluttered?

I don't mean in the sense of physical clutter either; I'm talking about getting a glimpse of the reality that you'd accumulated a bunch of internal stuff that you hadn't made time to assess in order to shed or discard the parts that no longer fit who you'd become.

2011 has brought with it quite a bit of excitement, newness, and boundary pushing for Kris, our daughters, and me.  We've been traveling more than I've ever done; I've been doing more public speaking than I've ever done; I've taken my workshops on the road, hitting up New York, heading to Jamaica next month, and planting some seeds in Chicago, DC, and Costa Rica for 2012.  The work I've put in since 2007 have truly started to take root and spread out, and I remain grateful, curious, and motivated. I've taken my work from online to live, and wow--it was high time.

Exciting, right? Of course it is! But with this increased pace has also come the need to pay more attention to my life, my intentions, my motives, and of course, my schedule. I've upped my presence in my own life, "observing the underpinnings of its design", as Sarah Susanka said in her bestselling book, The Not So Big Life, and I've realized that I can do something about this feeling of clutter.

There's a school of thought that asserts a simple concept: Do less, notice more.  That one sentence has been feeding my soul like a tall glass of pineapple/mango juice on ice, and I am drinking it in, honey! Indeed, I'm in that space now, and if I'm honest, it's the safest, most profound opportunity I've ever had to truly pay attention to the why and how of my actions.

This blog—my first foray into online exploration, has become a point of clutter.  I had refused to let it go for three main reasons:

Reason No. 1: You.  I didn't even know that an online community of women/men/parents existed, and in 2007 when I started this blog, I had no idea where it would take me. I've met quite a few of you in person, and even became friends with a handful of you.  Letting go of this blog seemed akin to ditching you--our connection, our conversations--and so I hung on, barely engaging, but taking comfort in the fact that the blog was at least still here.

Reason No. 2: Nostalgia.  This is the very same reason I have boxes of letters from my high school days, trophies from middle school track and field adventures, and other crap that's just taking up unnecessary physical space. I stayed here because the memories are sweet, but I'm now realizing that ownership of memories is a mindset, and not a blogging platform.

Reason No. 3: Money.  Sponsored posts and advertisements on this blog, though not enough to say...buy me a car--have funded trips, gotten me invited to some pretty awesome events, and helped me feel rather official because I can point to it as proof of my been-blogging-forever-dude status.

My new schedule (and frankly, my new priorities) have helped me make a decision that should have been made a long time ago. I'm no longer posting on this blog. It's a hard decision, and even I myself am quite surprised (and a bit confused) about how emotional this is for me, but it is.  But I've transitioned, and it makes no sense for me to keep this site on my radar, and not nurture our connection and conversations in any way.

Thank you for paying attention to my journey.

Thank you for sharing your journey with me.

Thank you for making blogging so worthwhile.

Thank you for offering your insight to my life.

Thank you for reminding me how supportive and brilliant people can be.

I'm still writing online, and my focus is still about the way Execumamas flow. But it has evolved, just as I have, and it's time for me to embrace that.

You can join me if you'd like; I'd love it, actually.
Here's my other blog: Execumama Life
Here's where you can subscribe to Execumama Life.

Again, THANK YOU for your energy, insight, love, and light.

Be well,
Akilah S. Richards
Transitioned.

***I'll be taking the site down eventually, but It'll be here (static) for now, until I make time to sift through the posts to see what I want to keep.***

"Shut Up, Kid!" ...and other lessons in parenting

I've been a mother for less than 8 years, and sometimes it seems like I learn less about "mothering", and more about basic relationship management as my journey continues.

This video is about a critical point in my parenting journey. A point where I had the option to choose between Nurture and Necessity; ultimately to find out that they can be one in the same. I learned that I can choose to console myself in my long-term goal, rather than quell my stomach flip-flops with delusions of make-them-feel-good-at-all-times syndrome.

Got 7 minutes? Listen as I share my experience, then tell me what you would've done.

Have you ever felt torn between your roles as 

life guide and feel-gooder?

When do you feel most vulnerable as a parent?

Thanks for listening (oh, and watching!) and sharing.

Confessions from A Stolen Woman

We love, we nurture, we defend, we inspire...

We commit, we engage, we concoct, we soothe
We altar states of mind, we solve mysteries and enhance moods

In all of this, we women take pride
But in all of that, we women also hide

Sliding swiftly behind curtains that used to dance in our honor
Pinning badges on our bare breasts that read, "Remember Me, Please."
We conjur up selfless Great-grand everythings, and tell ourselves
that they did it, so we should too.

We're I-snatchers, the lot of us.
The "I" from Inspired
The "I" from Family
The "I" from "Goddammit, I deserve to be nurtured too!"
And we place those I's in ill-constructed sentences like

I am tired as hell, but my babies deserve...
I am not feeling it, but my man deserves...
I don't care about this, but my neighbor/co-worker/friend should have...
I should exercise, but right now, he/she/they need me to...

We steal ourselves from our lives, and call it Work|Life woes.
We commiserate over empty foods, feigning celebration through old-school beats.

They love you; you know that.
You love them, hard. It shows.
But the equation is incomplete, as evidenced by your
Fatigue. Fears. Frustrations. Fat. Fake-ass flyness.
Frequently frazzled state of being.

There's honor among thieves, so we watch each other steal
pieces of our own selves, of our own health, of our own worth,
and have the nerve to smile when someone says "Happy Mother's Day!"

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Take it back! Do it B.I.G.  (Because I Give)
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Join me at With Mom in Mind™ on Saturday, June 11th from 3pm to 7pm at the award-winning Chateau Elan Winery & Resort.

Register HERE
If you're not in Atlanta, gift it to your Atlanta sister who deserves the tools, techniques, and reminders that support her Highest self.

Father's Day Gift Ideas, Anyone?

Both our daughters are daddy's girls. I used to be all no-they-didn't about it, but now I'm appreciative of the relationship they have with a man who can show them what to expect when they start...gulp/sigh/shiver...dating.

This year, Father's Day is June 19th (write that down if you're like me and never remember).  Kris and I aren't much for holiday's that some person made up, so we tend to reserve gift exchanges for anniversaries and birthdays, since we know how those particular days came to be...LOL.  I do, however, reserve the right to fall right in line with the rest of society if I'm inspired by a really original, or spot-on gift that screams of the stuff that Kris would love.

Um, to date, I've probably given him 3 Father's Day presents, because the typical stuff won't cut it, and since (as of the date of publishing) our monthly budget does not sustain a black-on-black bugatti, I just pawn off the task onto our daughters, and encourage them to get creative.

Custom artwork, hand-crafted coupon booklets, thoughtful letters in perfectly imperfect handwriting, and WWF-style hugfests are among the bounty Kris has received from our girls.  That's the good stuff right there!

So, until I can call the Bugatti dudes and set up a li'l somethin' somethin', I'll stay on the lookout for T-shirts that reflect his personality.   
(Exhibit A above)

What do you do for Father's Day Gifts in your house?  

How Not To Be Fear's Bitch!

*I originally focused this on my Life Design focused site, but then I thought, da hell--how can I leave out my original, forever always homies!*

By this time tomorrow, I'll have already risen with the intention to spread my live speaking wings at the Miami Convention Center for SheCon.  I feel so good about this opportunity, but perhaps equally important is the fact that I get to practice my Life Design strategies by addressing some pretty heavy fear points!

---FEAR POINT #ONE: There are other fabulous sessions going on at the exact same time as mine! What if no one comes to my session? Like, no one! At all! Ever.

---FEAR POINT #TWO: This Life Design thing is still relatively new to many folks.  What if the women there don't give two shits about Life Design, and label me lame because they realize that I'm just...me, and that I'm not coming to them with 15 surefire ways to make $10,000 from their blog??!

I remember writing a few years back about how it's okay to acknowledge fear without feeling the need to embrace it and invite it to bed. This is a great opportunity for me to do that, so I figured I'd share it, so that you can see that you should TOTALLY give two shits about Life Design!

As promised...
How To Avoid Being Fear's Bitch
OR (if you prefer)
Life Design Strategies For Moving Past Fear

If you decide to get into bed with fear, and get all rubbed up and stuff, what you produce together is DOUBT.  I created a Doubt baby around my SheCon appearance; however, I decide to use this unwanted baby to get the alimony I need to keep walking my thoughts. I asked for this, and so I'm opting to do it NBA-groupie-turned-wifey style. I'm shamelessly using the baby to get what I want, and her name is...

Diopunbrita!  You can too pronounce it: Di-op-un-brita! *Classy, right!*

Ditch: The ego! This is about being used by my calling, not about appearing in front of the largest audience!
Opportunity: As in the very same ones I've been asking for! To speak live in front of strangers in new cities, about Life Design.
Understand: that I am already enough. Because of my intention, the outcome can only serve to make me stronger/better.
Brighten: As in get into LightCaster mode and resolve to cast my light by delivering a healthy dose of my unique self
Take: the time to see the blessing in this opportunity. What got me to this point? What am I learning? How can I use it?

So, the next time you stare a great opportunity in the face, and realize that fear is hanging out trying to get you into bed...

Go ahead, take him in. Make yourself a Diopunbrita, and embrace the feeling of being the proud mama of your best-case scenario life, one baby at a time.

Need a little help embracing your Diopunbrita? Let's do a complimentary Life Design session to see if we can't get that baby out.

Little Goddesses in Bloom

Our youngest, Sage-Niambi, is such a girlie-girl. I don't even know where she gets it, but I give her five years max before she's hosting retreats on harnessing Inner Goddess Power.

She made her own necklace at a jewelry-making party a few years ago, and apparently, the joy of that feeling never went away.

(Shout out to fly photographer, Denene!)

On a recent trip to New York, Sage fell in love with a studded kitten necklace while perusing isles in China Town.

If we didn't give her a spending budget, home girl would've stocked up on necklaces, earrings, and rings somethin' serious!

As a child, I remember my mother and aunt being into jewelry for their daughters. I still hear my mom's friends talk about "dem daughter christening jewellery" (it's not a typo--that's our spelling back home, so I'm keeping it this time :) and how they still look at the dainty little jewels for nostalgia's sake. I still have a few choice onesies and socks in a drawer somewhere, so I totally get the pry-it-from-my-cold-dead-hands feeling when it comes to items that remind us of our babies!

Our children were never christened (Gasp!), but I can see now that Sage will be growing her collection of fine jewels (LOL!) which at age 5, already includes gold and beaded bracelets, six pairs of earrings,  and two anklets.  Can you imagine?!

She got the earrings fixation from her mama, so I can totally understand that. But it is so very interesting to watch their little personalities unfold, as she adds Jewelry Lover to her list of beautiful traits.

Her older sister, Marley is quite the opposite. I have to bribe her with extra TV time to get her to wear earrings. Ultimately, it's her choice (I guess!), and I do tell her that, but as an earring junkie, I just can't see why any sane person would want to get dressed and then NOT kiss their lobes with fanciness via earrings!

I love watching them grow into themselves, complete with quirks, preferences, hot buttons and all. To think that they were laid up in my belly causing back pain not too long ago--LOL!

Okay, that's my sap-fest on how interesting/yummy/inspiring my daughters are.

What interesting quirks are you learning about your little ones?

Guilt-free Flyness Hot Dresses To Match

 Shelley, Sauda of MAIA Bey, and moi. Photo by CreativeSoulPhoto.com

Life has really sped up over her in this particular Execumama's world, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm appreciative of Creator's light in me, and I have no intentions of dimming or dumbing down my light/time on this planet!

This year, I'm traipsing around the universe leading conversations about what I call Life Juice. This includes my Life Design practice and all the facets therein: womanhood, motherhood, wifey-ness (lol!), and all sorts of relationships that enhance life for the people in my circle.

Now, how could I possibly give out tans from my sunshine if I don't feel AND LOOK the part?
Don't even front on me--you know looking fly is a large part of delivering your goodies with an extra dose of Booyah!

So, I've been taking notes and cues from my Womanspiration team, and the Style category is definitely led by one of my SiStars, Kerrie aka VirtuousOne of VirtuousStyls.com.  I know Kerrie would approve of my love affair with Bluefly.com's evening dresses, particularly since I can get super sassy for under $100! That's my kind of shopping!

One of my other SiStars, Shelley of EatRelateLove.com almost clotheslined me when I donned my handy-dandy cloth envelope alongside my 50's style dress during a recent Green Carpet event.  Shelley demanded that I buy some purses and at least one clutch, and she was so adamant, that I complied within days--mostly due to fear of my safety!

Bluefly.com's designer handbags are on my Yep, Those Are Hot list for sure! The BCBG bags look extra sexy when they're 50% off too!

So, I'll ask you these three things as I wrap:

1. How are you casting your Light in the world?

2. How are you prioritizing looking and feeling good about YOU?

3. Where do you shop for unique pieces that represent your personal style?